Nope

the bible is an interesting piece of literature. it has had an affect on millions, both positive and negative. but let's look at it like just a book. the concept of god makes several huge transitions throughout the book. in the pentateuch, the first five books, Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, and Numbers, as well as throughout most of the old testament, god is anthropomorphic. he walks among men, he talks with men, he does human things. this is possibly because that was the common god concept of the time. yahweh assumed the form of zeus, and the other patriarch gods that came before him. then when you read Ezekiel and Jermiah, and those books around them, you get the rumblings of a transcendent god whom you can't walk with. this is one of the only real revolutionary ideas of judaism and christianity, but boy is it a big one. Moses kinda freaked me out in the story of Aaron making that golden calf. so here's the story. moses goes up mt. sinai to get the ten commandments. as we all know, one of them is to not have idols and to worship no gods before yahweh. so as moses is coming down the hill, he sees that aaron has smelted all their gold into a golden calf, and idol. now remember, no one else has seen the ten commandments. so moses freaks out. he goes absolutely ballistic that aaron made this calf. he smashes the ten commandments on the ground. holy hell moses, anger management not your strong point?

it's interesting, we all know the story about moses and the burning bush. so, god says that he is the same god that abraham worshiped, but he was called by a different name. his name was el shaddai, or something to that effect. what's interesting though is that el shaddai is one of the names of el, the main god of the canaanite pantheon. so basically yaweh and el are one and the same? i dunno.

talking about religion, i hate those freaking mortgage ads on places like CNN.com. What the hell. they thing they are going to get more business by having a fucking shadow dance around? or how about my favourite. a wack-a-mole type thing with all 50 states on it. fuck. those are the stupidest ads ever. who is going to be surfing CNN, wanting to find more about don imus, and see one of those ads and think, "damn, i haven't gotten a mortgage on my house yet. maybe i should trust this dancing shadow and refinance with this no name company." DRRR. *slams head on keyboard*.

speaking of CNN, i was surfing their website the other day and I came across a certain article. here i'll share it with you. (http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/04/14/kasparov.protest/index.html) Garry Kasparov, the russian chess champion was detained by the russian government because he was protesting the government. god damned russians, trying to prohibit free speech. free speech isn't just a law that we have in the comfy ole' U S of A. no, it is an intrinsic right of life. let no one silence you. fuck the government. hah, eat that NSA. and let me say something else. free speech 'zones' like bush had set up at his speeches aren't free speech. it is restricting free speech to a 'zone'. that's bullshit. free speech isn't something to be had in glass boxes with no way to get your word out. it is something that permeates everywhere and everything. i have the right to free speech. you do too. so does a 13 year-old chinese sex slave.

back to the bible. who thinks that the bible just appeared after jesus died. show of hands? *half the crowd raises their hands*. idiots. here's the scene they envision...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

paul and thomas enter the room. it's quite dark, with only a few candles for light. mary and peter and the rest of the apostles are sitting around a table with blank books.

"hey hey, i've got an idea." luke says. "'ow about Jesus heals a leper."

"what a fucking stupid idea, peter." mary snipes back.

"hey, i thought it was a good one." luke replies.

"hey, me too. i'll write it into my book." mark says.

"stupid prude." mary whispers under her breath.

the camera pans to the dim corner of the room. two small white lights are seen about eye height. suddenly, chains rattle and something snarles and growls.

"shut up judas." matthew shouts.

"i didn't betray him!" judas screams, "he told me to do it...*growl*"

"yeah, when pigs fly." peter says.

"hey! what a good idea! i bet jesus could do that." luke says.

"peter, stop smoking that shit." mary says. "i told you to stop."

luke fires back, "i did!"

"bollucks" mary says.

"hey, i was thinking. falling of a roof and dying isn't too messiah-like." matthew says.

"ya know, i was thinking the same thing." john adds.

"'hey, how about he is crucified and resurrected. i bet the romans would get a kick outta that." luke says.

"finally, a good idea." mary says.

"this is shaping up to be a good fiction series." peter says.

the camera fades out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, that's most likely not how it happened.